Home Sweet Home

Goodness gracious, it’s been about two months since my last post! I will confess, though, that the absence was totally necessary.

As I’d mentioned last time, Cameron and I found ourselves an awesome little apartment, and these last few months have been a whirlwind of packing, unpacking, furniture-hunting, and adjustment as we settle into our new home.

Coming Home

I’ve gotta say: the chaos has been completely worth it. Sure, there’s a sadness that crops up when I remember that our family is three hours north. And yeah, there have been times when I’ve felt overwhelmed by how quickly our lives have changed.

First Table and A First Dinner With Friends

But then? Then I remember that those changes have been the most positive thing I could have asked for. That I’m overwhelmed—but overwhelmingly happy. And that, even if our family and many others are now a long drive away, having two good friends show up with a crock-pot of freaking awesome stew to celebrate our obtaining a dining room table is one of those moments that makes me say:

“Yeah, we’re good.”

And hey! We have this duck.

I love this freakin' Duck.

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The Adventure Continues!

For the last year, Cameron and I have been living as nomads; never really staying in one place long enough get settled, and making our way on the generosity of others (and the availability of their basements).  While we fancy the idea of taking our time to find “the place where we’ll settle down one day”, it’s been difficult not having somewhere to call our own.

Last week, we got the call that an apartment we’d been looking at was all ours!  You know, once the paperwork was done.  A beautiful, spacious second-floor flat with an awesome view was suddenly right there at my fingertips.  And I was terrified.  I guess I still am.

This will be the third time we’ve moved in a year, not counting various shufflings-around.  Even before then, neither of us had a place that was truly ours, whether it was a town home or something with a mortgage.  The realization that we’ll be staying in one place for a long time–that we’ll be making ourselves a home–is hard for me to digest and still more than a little unreal.  We, as the future Mr. and Mrs. Hunting, are going to be paying our own real utilities, getting mail delivered to our own mailbox, and coming home to a door that leads to our own place.

This may not be our “forever-home”, and instead only act as another stepping-stone in the grand scheme of things, but as Cameron put it to me last night: “It’s the next quest on our real-life adventure.”

Now I just need to conquer Cardboard Box Castle, and avoided the dreaded junk-monsters that are waiting to eat me while I pack supplies for this here journey.  I KNEW there was a reason I should be scared!

Bee In a Box

Living the Dream

This week, I made a big ol’ Life Decision.

When I was younger, getting ready for college, and trying to determine the first crucial steps in what would become my adult life, I wanted to pursue my dream of working in the art industry.

I wanted to create something beautiful every day.  I wanted to do something that, at its core, I loved very much, and that made other people smile.  Or cry.  Or think.  You know, because art evokes emotion like that.

I was told that it was an impractical choice; told that I could never have a future in art, and that it couldn’t pay the bills.  The delivery came with an incredulous undertone.  I’ll never forget the way the words had sounded.

Later, the condemnation of what I wanted hadn’t lessened.  It only shifted focus.  As I switched gears from working as a computer technician to exploring the world of business, I was treated like some kind of eldritch abomination.

I mean, I guess being an eldritch abomination in a corporate setting can be okay?

I mean, I guess being an eldritch abomination in a corporate setting can be okay?

“You should make do with what you have”, I was told.  Never mind that my work environment was putting me in a poor place, both physically and mentally.

“You should be settling down with a house and family by now,” I was told.  Never mind that I was trying to intelligently weigh my options and ensure that I would have the stability to one day start that family.

“You won’t succeed.  You don’t know how to survive in the real world.  You’re safer without change.”

The discussions that followed were some of the most hurtful, impossibly ridiculous moments that I could have imagined.  I was branded as an awful person because I had the audacity to want something more for the future; both my future and that of my children.

So, maybe I should be settled down by now.  But why does “settling down” always sound like you have to settle?

You sure as Hell don’t have to.

I’ll be going back to school for graphic design and business administration; a choice that will serve to burnish my current career path and allow me to move forward with what I’ve always wanted to achieve.  Is it practical?  I think so.  Will everyone agree?  Probably not.  In fact, I know I’m going to stumble, and I know that I’ll face hardship, but that’s a part of life.  I happen to have an awesomely supportive future husband, friends, and family to keep me on my feet.  And you know what?  I’m not going to settle just because it’s “safe”.  I’m going to keep pushing myself and evolving so that one day I can tell my children in earnest that I’m proud of who I am, what I do, and what I’ve accomplished.

After all, building a “Me” that I love is the first step to building a family that I love even more, and I’m already on the road to doing just that.

And I get to be freaking Cthulhu.